The Movies!
by Rocky and CG
Summary: American Cooporate Movies want to make one about the Slayers. Re-post


~The Movies!   
American coorporate movies does the Slayers!   
  
::Lina, Zel, Gourry and Amelia are in a meeting room, the year is 2000::   
  
ZEL: So, what's this all about?   
  
PRODUCER: Well, everyone, we would like to do a movie about your exploits.   
  
LINA: I do have four movies already, it'll be no problem for ME to do another!   
  
GOURRY: Wow, I've never been in a movie.   
  
AMELIA: Imagine all the good messages I could spread if I was on the big screen!   
  
ZEL: What do you have in mind with this movie? ::not really exited about his face being everywhere so people can stare::   
  
PRODUCER: You see we're gonna do the TV series in our version! Isn't that great!?   
  
AMELIA: That's not very original...   
  
ZEL: Sounds more like copying then another new adventure.   
  
LINA: How much will I get paid for it?! I'll accept no less then 10 million!   
  
PRODUCER: Te...Ten...But Demi Moore makes more then that much a film!   
  
LINA: Don't you think I'm better then her?   
  
PRODUCER: ...Would you be willing to get naked on screen?   
  
LINA: Gah...On second thought, ::puts hand behind head:: Hahahaha! Let's talk about that contract later.   
  
GOURRY: Beside, Lina's got nothing to show, so you'd just be wasting your mone~EEP!!   
  
::Gourry is hit with a slipper::   
  
LINA: Anyway! Tell us about your idea!   
  
AMELIA: I still don't think this is very original....   
  
LINA: No one asked you!   
  
PRODUCER: First of all, we're gonna set it in the 21th century, a modern movie.   
  
AMELiA: I really don't like where this is headed...   
  
PRODUCER: *coughs* You, Ms. Inverse, are an independant hacker and adventurous girl all around. You travel the globe, taking money to support your life style and you live by a whim!   
  
LINA: Sounds about right but...what about my magic?   
  
PRODUCER: That's the best part! You're one of the few people in the world who can actually use magic!   
  
LINA: ::thinks about this and grins:: Okay, go on.   
  
PRODUCER: Like the series, one day after raiding a villian's hideout and taking their treasure via internet.   
  
LINA: But~   
  
PRODUCER: However, the villians has got pass your encrytpment code and are almost about to find out where you are hiding over the net.   
  
LINA: Wait!   
  
AMELIA: I had a feeling this was going to be bad...   
  
PRODUCER: But then who should come to save you (online) but hacker genius Gourry!   
  
::Zel, Lina and Amelia are just staring at him with their mouths hanging open and a look that screams "Are you crazy?!"::   
  
GOURRY: Who me?   
  
PRODUCER: Yes, you! You're going to be the sauve hero of the movie!   
  
GOURRY: ::digging some earwax out:: Oh, okay! ^_^   
  
LINA: Now look...   
  
PRODUCER: Since he dusted off the bad guy, Lina and Gourry have a few words like "Thanks" "Not a problem" and Lina signs off.   
  
LINA: But that isn't how it happened...   
  
PRODUCER: Later, when Lina is about to leave her new apartment, who should be at the door but Gourry in person!   
  
AMELIA: This is really getting weird and off track...   
  
PRODUCER: Gourry says he wants to protect you because you got in way over your head with this last gang and he doesn't want anything bad to happen to you.   
  
LINA: Gourry? You're talking about _Gourry_?   
  
ZEL: ::smirks:: Well, it actually sounds very true about Gourry's motives. To protect his Lina ::grins some more::   
  
LINA: What are you getting at, Zel?! ::rolls up her sleeve::   
  
PRODUCER: So, as Lina is yelling at him "You must be crazy! Are you some kind of prevert?" etc, etc, the bad guys bust in and a large fight ensures! Of course you two take out the ninjas with no problem with Lina's magic and Gourry's tae kwon do.   
  
LINA: ::shakes her head in her hands::   
  
AMELIA: This is really getting off track....   
  
PRODUCER: So, then you two set off to avoid anymore attacks. We still have to write the script but there are some more great highlights and guidlines that we're following.   
  
ZEL: Like?   
  
PRODUCER: You'll LOVE this, Zel baby!   
  
ZEL: Somehow, I'm doubting that.   
  
PRODUCER: We'll show flashbacks of your past like in the series. One day while working at the chemical plant, that your grandfather/great-grandfather owns and operates, Rezo wants to test you and fight you on the skywalks over the chemical vats to see how strong you've gotten. Unfortunatly, you fall in one of the vats and from your neck down your body has this severe burn!   
  
ZEL: Wait, so instead of magically being a chimera with a freakish face, I now have a chemical burn all over my body from the neck down?   
  
PRODUCER: Yes! We need to have your face for the ladies! You'll also be a cool sauve guy. You're funny, witty and optimistic!   
  
ZEL: ::puts hand to chin and seems like he actually likes this idea::   
  
AMELIA: Actually, Mr. Zelgadis is the pessimist...   
  
PRODUCER: Makeup will take care of recreating your actual face, but you'll have to go through five hours of makeup each morning~   
  
ZEL: I'll do it!!! ::jumps up on the table and starts to shake him:: I'll do anything!! I'll take on this movie!!!   
  
AMELIA: Mr. Zelgadis! Can't you see he's just turning our great and comical show into a movie that has nothing to do with us?! It's not even close to our storyline! It's all to appeal to posers and not the true fans and to make a huge gross as well as mercandising!   
  
XELLOSS: I agree.   
  
ALL: Xelloss! ::all heads turn to Xelloss sitting in a chair drinking tea::   
  
XELLOSS: My, my, everyone! How are you?   
  
LINA: What are you doing here, Xelloss?   
  
XELLOSS: Well, I've heard about the movie and Lord Beastmaster sent me to investigate...and see how much screen time we can get.   
  
LINA: Wow...we didn't have to twist his arm or anything...   
  
PRODUCER: Oh yes, Xelloss! You have a very important part in the movie!   
  
XELLOSS: Glad to know that!   
  
PRODUCER: You see you're going to play Rezo/Shabranigo.   
  
XELLOSS: ::facefaults:: Wha...Wha...?   
  
PRODUCER: Well, in Animerica you were mislabled as Rezo/Shabranigo so we have to keep up with the times, ya know! If they want you as Rezo/Shabranigo, then we have to comply.   
  
XELLOSS: That...that makes no sense at all....   
  
PRODUCER: Oh, but it will in the movie!   
  
AMELIA: I'm afraid to ask about my part in the movie.   
  
PRODUCER: Oh, yes! You'll have a part too.   
  
AMELIA: That's what I was afraid of...   
  
PRODUCER: Unfortunatly, your part will have to be played by your big sister for fanservice. Because you're too young to be viewed as a sex symbol and we don't want the legal crap as well as bad media who says it's bad to view young girls as sexy but show sexy underwear adds everywhere.   
  
AMELIA: O_O, WHAT! But Ms. Lina is only over a year older then me!   
  
PRODUCER: Yes we see that, but Lina is going to be 18 soon, so she'll be legal. You're still jailbait here in the States.   
  
AMELIA: I don't believe this...   
  
PRODUCER: Hey, this is America. We have laws for this stuff ya know!   
  
AMELIA: This is so stupid...   
  
LINA: Oh, gods! You mean I have to work with Naga!   
  
PRODUCER: Oh no, she'll only have a 10 minute part and we'll see no more of her. You don't get to see her in person. She's gonna help you with the encpryment code to the main Mazoku system.   
  
GOURRY: Ya know, even I think this is stupid.   
  
XELLOSS: ::still recovering:: Now, look...I'm a well repected priest of a very powerful Dark Lord...I'll be very good if I play myself. Besides...playing Zel's grandfather/great-grandfather...::looks to Zel::   
  
ZEL: ::is too fascinated with getting that makeup job and looking normal::   
  
XELLOSS: Ummm...let's forget Zel for now.   
  
GOURRY: Yeah...he looks a little out of it...   
  
LINA: ::to Producer:: How far can you take this thing?!   
  
PRODUCER: Oh, to the end of NEXT.   
  
LINA: That far, huh? How long is this movie?   
  
PRODUCER: About an hour and twenty minutes.   
  
LINA: WHAT?! How are you going to cover all of the events between the beginning and to the end of NEXT?!   
  
PRODUCER: Oh simple, we'll just skip the rest and go to the best!   
  
LINA: That's insane!!!! How will we meet everyone and go through their character developments and learn more about how powerful _I_ am!!!   
  
PRODUCER: Oh yes! I almost forgot! Next time you see Syphiel tell her she has a part in the movie too.   
  
XELLOSS: Oh, this looks like it'll be interesting. ::has a sly grin::   
  
PRODUCER: Yes, we're gonna really focus on the rivalry between Ms. Syphiel and Ms. Lina.   
  
GOURRY: Rivalry?   
  
LINA: There is no personal grude between me and Syphiel! We're not rivals!   
  
PRODUCER: Oh, but we're gonna have a big cat fight between you two! It'll be great! You'll be wrestling and then you fall into a water fountain and continue to fight!   
  
GOURRY: Why would Lina and Syphiel be fighting? They're friends aren't they? ::baffled::   
  
LINA: We are! We wouldn't fight! And why the hell would we be fighting anyway! ::trying to play it dumb::   
  
PRODUCER: Well the whole Gou~ MHHP!!! ::Lina has her hand over his mouth::   
  
LINA: Nevermind!! Nevermind!! ::sheepish smile:: Hahahaha!   
  
GOURRY: ::scratches head:: This movie is pretty weird...   
  
LINA: Yes! Yes!! It is! Can't take anything seriously! Hahahahaha!   
  
AMELIA: Bet she'll believe that...   
  
LINA: Shut up!   
  
PRODUCER: But you'll rise victorious and Syphiel will admit defeat because Gourry really lov~MPHHH!!   
  
LINA: You shut up too!!   
  
GOURRY: I really what?   
  
PRODUCER: But after the fight scene we'll move to the romantic part and then cut right to the glamorous sex scene between Lina and Gour~AHHH!!!   
  
LINA: FIREBALL!!!!!!!   
  
*BOOM!!!!!*   
  
::Lina, Gourry, Amelia and Xelloss are walking down the street::   
  
LINA: Man, that was such a stupid idea for a movie...   
  
GOURRY: Yeah, but what's this about a sex scene between you and~   
  
LINA: THAT'S NOT IMPORTANT!! ::blushes::   
  
XELLOSS: Well, I'm glad you took care of that man, Ms. Lina. ::in a low voice:: Makes my job easier...   
  
AMELIA: I didn't like that man at all! He deserved what he got! That movie would have been a huge embarassment to us all and our fans! Right, Mr. Zelgad~...Hey...where's Mr. Zelgadis?   
  
::back at the meeting room::   
  
ZEL: Hey!! Are you alive?!! If they won't do it _I_ will!! Come on!!! I'll do it!! We'll get you your movie!! I wanna be normal!!!   
  
~The End~   
  
By Rocky! (Rockym82@aol.com)


End file.
